Unraveling is a newsltter by Shab Ferdowsi. Inspired by burnout and a subsequent existential crisis, this is a place for vulnerable and philosophical musings on creativity, identity, and the human experience. It is the official newsletter for Gusto! magazine.
I’ve been wandering around Paris by myself for the past two months. It began as a way to explore the city that I barely knew and knew only as a tourist. I wanted to feel the way the city moved, the way the people interacted with the streets, and how the neighborhoods differentiated themselves from the next. My photography also saw a shift as I started to view the city through a new curiosity. Photos of buildings and bridges became candid moments of strangers on the metro, strangers sunbathing in parks, strangers on bikes blurring by. I became obsessed with street photography, and I found myself excited when I had a day to myself.
I was excited to be alone with my camera and the city.
After a couple of months though, this began to strike me. I have spent more time alone here than I probably ever have in my 29 years, yet I don’t feel lonely. Frankly,I feel the exact opposite.
What is the opposite of loneliness? And why do I feel it?
There’s a beautiful essay by the late Marina Keegan, written the night before her Yale graduation, called precisely “The Opposite of Loneliness”.
It is not quite love and it's not quite community; it's just this feeling that there are people, an abundance of people, who are in this together.
Though I don’t have an abundant social life here, every time I leave the house I am swallowed up by the abundance of city dwellers walking in the same direction I’m walking in, heading down into the metro, bags full of the day’s necessities. We are all moving through the city together, sitting at the cafés reading our books together, strolling through the park on sunny days together.
We are alone, but never truly alone.
But my lack of loneliness goes further still.
Yesterday I spent 6 hours walking around and shooting. I had so much fun. I felt fulfilled and excited and happy. The satisfaction of being able to capture the city come to life on a sunny Saturday was a feeling I can’t quite describe yet. But it’s that kind of creative flow that surpassed my potential fear of missing out.
"Every time I leave the house I am swallowed up by the abundance of city dwellers walking in the same direction I’m walking in, heading down into the metro, bags full of the day’s necessities. We are all moving through the city together, sitting at the cafés reading our books together, strolling through the park on sunny days together"
I am still ruminating on this! It is inspiring my next post for my newsletter.
This is beautiful. I loved “The Opposite of Loneliness.” Your notion that creative flow removes the potential fear of missing out resonates with me. It probably signals you’ve found your craft when there’s nowhere else you’d rather be than immersed in it. Keep exploring, shooting, and writing! 🙌🏽